Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize