You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Acid is not a monday night drug
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize