Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize