Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize