i'm signing you up for texting rehab
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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