Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize