I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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