I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
His nipple licking is glorious
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