Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
everyone is single if you try hard enough
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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