i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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