evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I skipped work to stalk him.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
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We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
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this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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