I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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