end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
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There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
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I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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