I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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