good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
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He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
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This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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