Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize