We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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