the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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