I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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