the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
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and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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