Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize