Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
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Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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