I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize