Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize