This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
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In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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