so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize