all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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