U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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