She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize