Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always time for handjobs
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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