Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize