I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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