he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize