Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
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the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
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These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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