This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize