I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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