Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize