The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize