my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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