guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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