About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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