i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize