is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You ruined the universe
Randomize