in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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