watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Farmville is her only friend.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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