I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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