You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
it's like heaven, but drunker
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize