I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize