Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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