My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize